Perfect
by tng2788
Summary: TEMPORARILY PUT ON HOLD!I WILL CONTINUE EVENTUALLY! HAVING TROUBLE WITH INTERNET AT MY HOME! ONLY ABLE TO GET ON AT MY MOM'S AND SHE DOESN"T HAVE MICROSOFT WORD! SORRY! I PROMISE, THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED. JUST BE PATIENT WITH ME! THANKYOU!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I know this storyline has been over done on this site. But, I decided to give it a shot. Please don't hate.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.**

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

Ugh. Morning already? No. I don't want to get up. I don't want to go to school. Can't I just stay under the covers forever? Hmm, I wish. That would make things easier. But life isn't easy. Especially mine.

I reached out my hand attempting to shut off the annoying alarm clock. If I would have watched what I was doing, I wouldn't have knocked the picture of Ryan and I over. Not that I care really. When my hand finally found the alarm clock, I sighed contently. Now, maybe I could go back to sleep.

"Clare! You awake?" I heard my father call from downstairs. Well, I guess I won't be able to hide today.

Defeated, I finally go out of bed. Stretching as I went to the bathroom for my usual morning ritual.

After finishing my shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and walked back to my bedroom. Realizing that I never replied to my Dad, I called through the door, "Give me 15 minutes."

I pulled on my underwear and searched for a comfortable bra. Finding my light blue cotton one, I put it on before heading to my closet. I chose a light weight long sleeved navy tee shirt. My favorite light washed flare jeans went well with the shirt. I also added a chunky brown belt and some brown ballet flat shoes.

Now comes what I hate doing most. I have to cover the evidence, the bruises.

I sat down in front of my vanity. The girl in the mirror I barely recognized. She was emotionless.

Clare Edwards would never look like this. She wouldn't never have to cover the bruises with concealer. I never thought I would be in this position. I never thought I would be in an abusive relationship.

It didn't start out this way. At first he was a gentleman. He always made me feel loved. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the entire would. He was perfect. We were perfect together.

Or well, I thought. I didn't know he had such a temper until about 5 months ago. When my life became hell.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember how scared I was and the look in his eyes. I remember the sting and pain that followed after that first slap. I remember crying myself to sleep that night and praying it was a one time thing. I remember the apologies the next day and the promise that it would never happen again. And I remember how stupid I was to believe him.

Ryan and I have been together for nearly 8 months now. I know who I am allowed to talk to and who I'm not allowed to talk to. I know what to wear and what not to wear. I know what makes him happy and what sets him off. I try my best to follow the rules and if I do, I'm not punished. If I break a rule, I am punished.

It just so happens that Saturday, I was disrespectful and had to be punished. So, now here I sit, trying to cover my bruised cheek. I can't let anyone know. Not Alli, not my parents, not any teachers, and definitely not Eli.

Ryan and Eli don't exactly get along, but they tolerate each other. They were in the same grade, so they had some classes together. If it wasn't for the fact that I've known Eli longer than Ryan, he probably wouldn't let me hang out with him.

He is my best friend and has been since the day Mrs. Dawes decided to make us English partners.

Suddenly my memories were interrupted by my cell phone alerting me that I have a new text message.

_Where are you?_

Ugh, it's Ryan. I replied quickly, not wanting to uset him.

_Be there soon. Overslept._

I lied. I didn't oversleep, but I need an excuse if I'm going to be late.

_Whatever. You know I don't like walking in alone._

Crap. It's going to be a bad day, I can already tell. I quickly sent an apology before checking my face one more time and finally heading downstairs where my Dad was waiting for me.

* * *

"Thanks for the ride, Dad." I smiled and waved at him before getting out of the shiny silver SUV.

After watching my Dad drive away, I turned to face the school. There he was. Ryan was standing near the steps. His eyes were angry.

He started walking towards me, quickly. I swallowed the lump in my throat and spoke when he was close.

"Good morning Ryan." He scoffed, clearly upset.

Grabbing my arm, he pulled me with him inside of the school. I had trouble keeping up and almost fell a few times. On the way to my locker we passed Eli. He looked at me and I smiled, hoping to hide any fear in my eyes.

When we got to my locker, Ryan finally released my arm. He stood there silently while I retrieved my books.

"Hey Clare….Ryan." I heard a familiar voice.

I turned around, hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. Of course, it had to be him.

Ryan put his arm around my waist, roughly pulling me to him. He was quite possesive.

"Hi." I whispered and flinched a little when Ryan tightened his grip on my waist, digging his fingernails into my body.

Eli eyed me, obviously noticing when I flinched. He started to say something when the bell rang.

"See you later man." Ryan called over his shoulder as he pulled me down the hallway.

Before turning the corner, I looked back to Eli, mouthing 'I'm sorry.' He stood there shaking his head slightly, his eyes - intense and full of concern.

I was relieved when we finally made it to my first class. Ryan let me go, but I didn't dare move. Not yet. He kissed my cheek and leaned in close whispering harshly, "Be a good girl." Then he was gone.

Watching him walk away from me, I realized I was holding my breath.

I finally took a breath. You're okay Clare. You'll be okay Clare. He loves you. He only does this stuff to help you. You need him.

I need him.

I need him.

I need him.

I fear him.

**Author's Note: Yeahh, so that is that.. Reviews? I plan 5 chapters for this story.. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Well, I don't have much to say.. Hope you enjoy it. Oh, and Happy New Years! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. However, I do own Ryan.. **

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I waited for him. I always waited for him. He always expected me to be ath his locker right after school.

They day had gone by better then I expected. Ryan was upset this morning, but by lunch time he seemed to have calmed down. He had been sweet, which had become rare.

I stood there watching everyone as they exited the school. Couples were walking hand in hand and smiling and I found myself growing envious.

Suddenly, I felt his presence. I turned around and jumped when I realized how close he actually was.

"Did I scare you?" He chuckled as he put his stuff in his locker.

Giggling, I said, "Just a little."

He smiled and pulled me in for a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I smiled into his chest loving this side of him. He kissed the top of my head and for once, I actually felt safe with him.

He pulled away and his deep brown eyes met mine. I smiled until he spoke, "Well, babe, I have to go. Meeting the guys."

He was abandoning me. He always gives me a ride home. What am I going to do now?

"What?" I asked.

He glared at me and I cautiously took a step back.

"Did I stutter?" He asked harshly.

Shit! Asshole Ryan is back. I should have known better then to question him.

Trying not to show any fear I asked, "What am I going to do?"

He shook his head, clearly becoming agitated. After running a hand through his golden shaggy locks he glared at me, again. He stepped forward and trapped me between him and the lockers behind me.

Noticing the few students still roaming the halls, he was careful not to raise his voice to much. "What about you? Just because I have a girlfriend means I can't have a life?"

I was scared. He was holding my arms tight and I'm positive they there would be bruises left.

Trying to fight the tears, I told him, "I'm sorry. I just… I will walk home. Okay?"

His grip loosened and he nodded his head as approval.

"Text me later." He said before walking away, leaving me shaken in the hall.

Oh great! What am I going to do now? The bus was long gone and both parents were at work.

Calming myself, I walked down the hallway. I pushed the door open and made my way down the steps. I walked across the parking lot, heading for the sidewalk. I had to get home somehow.

I stopped when I heard my name being called. Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned around to find Eli Goldsworthy.

He looked at me and smirked. I raised my eyebrows giving him a questioning look.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

Wasn't it obvious?

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going home." I stated, looking down a bit.

"Where's lover boy?"

I scoffed. I hated his nickname for Ryan and that's why he uses it.

"He had plans."

His eyes met mine and I could see the concern in them. Just like this morning.

Eli and I have had a difficult relationship, I guess you could say. He is my very best friend, but still we fight like an old married couple. He's annoying and very sarcastic. He knows how to get under my skin and he flirts a lot.

Still, I couldn't imagine my life without him. He helped me through a lot and I helped him. As corny as it sounds, he is the peanut butter to my jelly.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride." He turned and walked to Morty, his hearse. I followed.

* * *

The ride home was comfortable. We didn't say much to each other, and we went completely silent when he turned on the radio.

His taste in music was the total opposite of mine. He liked the loud, obnoxious screaming music. I had grown accustomed to it though. Whenever I rode with him, I expected it. It's his car, so I don't say anything.

His music was dark, just like him. He was a dark person, from head to toe. His hair was dark and I don't think he owned any clothing that wasn't black or grey.

He was someone I didn't think I would get so close to. Me, Saint Clare became best friends with the death obsessed atheist. And to think, last year I even crushed on him. Bad!

"Clare. We're here." Eli brought me out of my thoughts.

I didn't even know that we had pulled into my driveway. I looked around and noticed, the cars were gone. Which means I would be home alone. Which wasn't unusual anymore.

"Oh, well thanks for the ride." I said while reaching for the door handle.

"Wait." I heard him say and felt him place his hand on my shoulder.

I turned to him. He had an unreadable expression on his face, not the smirk I loved.

"What is it?"

"Clare, are you okay?" He questioned.

I sighed and took a deep breath. He worries to much about me.

"Eli. I'm fine." I lied.

I was not fine. I hadn't been fine for a long time. But, I can't let him know that.

"Clare. I'm worried about you." He paused taking in a breath before he continued, "It's just, Ryan, he's so possessive sometimes. And I've noticed that you look like you're scared of him-"

I didn't let him finish. "Eli, why don't you mind your own damn business? He's possesive because he loves me. And I'm not afraid of him." I lied.

"Clare." He breathed my name.

I wanted so much to tell him everything, but I couldn't. If Ryan found out I told, he would kill me. If Ryan knew that Eli was questioning me about our relationship, he would kill me _and_ Eli.

I shuddered over that thought. Everyone and everything would be fine if I just sucked it up and kept Ryan happy.

Follow the rules Clare. Follow the rules and you will be okay. Follow the rules and everyone will be okay.

"Eli. Just mind your own business." I whispered.

I turned away from him and quickly left Morty. I ran to my porch and rushed to get the door unlocked. I heard him call my name, but I ignored him. I can't deal with him right now.

I finally made it inside, slamming the door behind me and locking it. I didn't even notice I was crying until I brushed a stray hair from my eyes, that's when I felt my wet cheeks.

I heard him start the engine and watched through the window as Eli drove away.

* * *

Mom and Dad were still no where to be seen. And neither of them thought to call or text. I guess they were busy. To busy for me.

I was sitting on my bed, attempting to read the newest Fortnight novel. But I keep finding myself thinking about the fight I had with Eli. I shouldn't had been so rude. He was concerned. He was worried about me. I just wish he would listen to me when I have told him thousands of times that I was okay.

He knew me though. Probably better then my parents knew me. Definitely better then Ryan. He could read me like a book. Which meant, he knew when I was lying.

He knew I was lying earlier.

_Tap Tap Tap_

That could only be one person.

I sit my book down and got up. I walked to the window to find Ryan, standing on my roof. He was comes through the window quite a bit.

I opened my window, stepping back to allow him access to my room. He stepped inside and closed the window behind him. When he turned to face me, I stopped breathing.

His eyes were mad. His eyes were dark and intense. His fists were clenched and the veins in his neck were more defined.

This was not good!

I stepped back, suddenly wanting to get away from him. I wished my parents would magically decide to come home, but I wouldn't be that lucky.

Before I knew it, he had me up against the wall, towering over me. I tried not to cry. I tried not to let him know that he was scaring me, but he was.

He brought his hand up and I took a deep breath, clenching my eyes shut. I waited.

He hit me. Twice. I guess once wasn't good enough tonight. When he let me go, I slid down the wall. Sobbing, I pulled my knees to my chest, attempting to hide.

"Well?" He shouted.

I was confused. I didn't know what I had done wrong. He wanted answers, but I didn't have them.

"W-What?" I stammered, refusing to look up at him.

He laughed, a sick laugh.

"Don't play dumb with me Clare. I know." He kneeled down next to me and grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He scoffed before standing back up. Next thing he did was new. He kicked me, hard, in the stomach. I felt sick. I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't know what to do, so I laid there, crying and praying it was over.

"I know you got a ride from Eli." I heard the man who is supposed to love me say, before he disappeared, out the window.

When I knew he was long gone, I got up slowly, wincing from the pain in my stomach. I grabbed my phone from my purse and scrolled down the contacts until I found the person I was looking for. When I found the right number, I pressed send and waited for them to answer.

"_Hi? Clare?"_

"Yeah. It's me."

I tried hard to not cry, but apparently I wasn't doing a great job at it. My eyes betrayed me yet again.

"_Clare. What's the matter? Are you okay?"_

"Yeah, I'm fine…" I started, but then decided it was time to stop lying. "No, I'm not. Can you please come get me? My parents aren't home and I just… I don't want to be alone."

"_Of course. I'm on my way."_

"Okay. Thanks." I said before hanging up.

I stood up and grabbed my jacket. I threw it on and then glanced at myself in the mirror. My face was already starting to swell. I touched my cheek and winced. I raised my shirt and stared at my stomach, it was already starting to bruise and it hurt when I breathed.

Next, I grabbed some overnight clothes and quickly wrote a note for my parents, incase they decided to worry about me when they came home.

_Knock, knock, knock._

I grabbed my purse and put my phone in it. I walked out of my room and down the stairs. I went to the front door, but paused.

Was I ready to do this? Was I ready to talk?

Yes! You have to Clare. Eventually it's going to go to far.

Bravely, I took a breath and opened the door. Silent tears slid down my face as I noticed Cece's expression change when she faced me. Obviously, she noticed my face.

I smiled slightly and shook my head, letting her know I didn't exactly want to talk about it right now.

"Oh, baby girl." She said as she carefully cupped my cheek, stroking it with her thumb.

"Cece, I'm scared." I admitted.

"Ryan? Did he do this?" She asked.

I nodded as more tears came flooding out of my eyes.

I can't live in fear anymore.

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**Author's Note: So, there's chapter 2. Hope you liked it. Reviews make me happy! **


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